FIVE STAGES OF GRIEF
(adapted from Elizabeth Kubler-Ross)
5 STAGES Death and Dying Healing a Memory
| DENIAL | I avoid facing the likelihood of my death.
I cannot face my mortality I feel and act as though I am invincible. |
I don’t admit I either am or ever was hurt.
I don’t face the reality of my unrealized dreams and illusions. I see things like I want to see them, and not as they are. |
| ANGER | I blame others for letting death hurt and destroy me.
I am filled with resentment and can’t forgive. |
I blame others for hurting and destroying me.
Others are responsible for my pain. Anger and ‘shoulds’ are intrusive thoughts. |
| BARGAINING | I set up conditions to be fulfilled before I’m ready to die.
If I do, then I can avoid reality and make things as I want to be. |
I set up conditions to be fulfilled before I’m ready to forgive myself and others.
If I act in a certain way, perhaps I can get others to change their minds and behaviors.
|
| DEPRESSION | I blame myself for letting death take over.
I failed in my life-I didn’t accomplish what I hoped. I have regrets about how my life path progressed. |
I blame myself for letting hurt destroy me.
I failed and am powerless, helpless, despondent. Hopelessness, regret, despondency are intrusive thoughts.
|
| ACCEPTANCE | I’m ready to die.
I’ve made peace with others and myself. I have come to terms with my mortality. |
I look forward to growth from hurt and change.
I can accept and forgive myself and others. I can let go of impossible dreams, illusions, & ‘shoulds’. |
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