(adapted from Elizabeth Kubler-Ross)

5 STAGES                                                        Death and Dying                Healing a Memory


DENIAL I avoid facing the likelihood of my death.

I cannot face my mortality

I feel and act as though I am invincible.

I don’t admit I either am or ever was hurt.

I don’t face the reality of my unrealized dreams and illusions.

I see things like I want to see them, and not as they are.

ANGER I blame others for letting death hurt and destroy me.

I am filled with resentment and can’t forgive.

I blame others for hurting and destroying me.

Others are responsible for my pain. Anger and ‘shoulds’ are intrusive thoughts.

BARGAINING I set up conditions to be fulfilled before I’m ready to die.

If I do, then I can avoid reality and make things as I want to be.

I set up conditions to be fulfilled before I’m ready to forgive myself and others.

If I act in a certain way, perhaps I can get others to change their minds and behaviors.


DEPRESSION I blame myself for letting death take over.

I failed in my life-I didn’t accomplish what I hoped.

I have regrets about how my life path progressed.

I blame myself for letting hurt destroy me.

I failed and am powerless, helpless, despondent.

Hopelessness, regret, despondency are intrusive thoughts.


ACCEPTANCE I’m ready to die.

I’ve made peace with others and myself.

I have come to terms with my mortality.

I look forward to growth from hurt and change.

I can accept and forgive myself and others.

I can let go of impossible dreams, illusions, & ‘shoulds’.



From an early age I had a passion about women’s matters. I realized that even more after finishing my MBA which was really not a good fit for me. I decided to go in the direction of counseling and helping people and now have 23 years of clinical experience.

While running my private practice to my surprise latent grief for my childhood family dog brought me a series of dreams. Writing about this beloved pet ended up being a healing journey including not just my stories, but client’s pet loss and even afterlife stories. This has led to my book, Life, Death, Dog: Between This Pet and the Next.

I’m committed to providing online therapy in Arizona and Washington. I’m passionate about creating positive changes in mind, body and spirit helping clients move forward with fewer emotional side effects.

Struggling with loss, anxiety, trauma or relationships? Contact me for expert therapy for adults, teens and college students.